Over the past few days I have been reminded of so-called 'friends' that I grew up with in high school and under-grad college. On Sunday night, I received a phone call from a high school friend who I haven't heard from in ages. He got a girl pregnant in high school and proceeded to marry a drug addicted/waste of a girl during my first year in grad school. He stayed with this girl for about a year or two and then finally woke up after that time realizing that she was bad for him. During that time, he completely ignored all his friends from high school..the girl was the main focus..no one else. She didn't seem to want him to associate with his friends I remember making many efforts after he was married to try to stay in touch with him, but he just never returned my phone calls. What the hell can you do about this situation..not much in my mind. So on Sunday, he called me to let me know that he was getting married for a second time and wanted my address. Needless to say that I was surprised that he called me, but I'm starting to think that he only wants to invite me to wedding #2 in order to get a wedding gift. He can happily send me an invite to the wedding, but he sure as hell ain't getting another gift. I am actually very offended that he would call me to attend wedding #2 when he has never made an effort to even contact me..he only calls when he wants something. I think most of us know someone like that.
I also have been thinking about another so-called friend that lived in my hometown while I was in under-grad. He and I worked at a music store together and shared alot of interests. We hung out on the weekends during college for nearly 4 yrs. He rarely dated because of his social ineptitude. When he did find a girl, he focused on her solely and his friends were ignored. I remember many a night when we would make plans to go out, I'd be at the bar waiting, and he'd call me to say..'listen, I'm tired and think I'm gonna stay in.' About 2 years ago, he met a girl and dated her for about 2 -3 months. He then got the wild idea to marry her just because she was Catholic. Well, during the dating and after the wedding, he totally ignored me. I would come to town and try to make plans to go to lunch..he'd call a few minutes before the meeting time and cancel. My wife and I tried to take a gift to his house for the wedding. He and his wife (who I've never met) were inside the house. I called ahead and asked if I could bring him a present. He told me to just leave the present on the front porch. He didn't even have the manners to come to the door to thank my wife and I...he just ignored me. After the gift drop-off, my wife and I never received a thank you note from he and the wife. After I brought him a wedding gift...I guess I guilted him into buying me a gift. The really sad thing about the gift was that it was not on any of the 4 gift registries and appeared to be an item that was re-gifted...cheap fucker. Well, since all of this happened, he attempted to send an IM to me here and there. All of a sudden back in November, he decides to block me from IM...no reason was given and no emails were returned. I guess his wife totally owns him now..his mind, soul, and ability to make decisions. Guess I should mark him up on the fair-weather friends list too.
Well..I finally got all of this off my chest. If I can leave one inkling of advice...Learn to think for yourself..don't let women control your lives and minds...have a life outside of your marriage with close friends...and don't be a fairweather friend. peace out.